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Janine's Letter

I was not yet a Catholic, but my husband and I had joined a domestic branch of an approved Catholic community which had a provision for non-Catholic members.

We would travel 2 hours out and back every Monday night to pray evening prayer and fellowship with them. During this time we were seriously pursuing the Catholic faith or should I say, Jesus was seriously pursuing us!

Still, there were many things I did not understand about the church. I had been feeling the pull of the Eucharist, but only experienced Jesus in this form from the back of Catholic Churches, scrunched down in the pew so no one would recognize me...the Methodist lay pastor's wife!

During Lent the spring before we entered the Church, we were with our community for a two day retreat. Part of the retreat was this thing called 'adoration'. They all talked as if it were something incredibly magic or deeply mystical and as a fledgling, I had really no idea what it was all about. I got sort of an explanation from one of the members, but of course, my pride being what it was, I didn't get her to explain more fully for fear of looking stupid. After all they were all excited, it would seem foolish if I expressed my outright terror!

So the time came for adoration. Off we went to the chapel and in I went at the back of the line. I followed the girl in front of me who got down on both knees and bowed all the way to the floor. I was afraid to look up so I followed her example and rose back to my feet without taking my eyes off the ground. Horrors, the only seat left was right up front about 2 feet from the altar (it was a very small chapel) so up I went and sat...still admiring the carpet and hoping it would be mistaken for humility!

After a few unremarkable minutes, no lightning, no ethereal music or anything... I decided to sneak a peek... I raised my eyes slowly to Our Lord in the Monstrance and said tentatively in my thoughts..."well Jesus, here I am..." Without missing a beat he said "Well, it's about time!" and he was Laughing!!!! I guess I got a really stupid grin on my face at that point as Jesus and I had a belly laugh over my foolishness and our love for one another. Very few memories are as precious to me as the memory of Our Lords laughter that day.

Pax et bonum,
Janine L.

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